I used to have a sort of Love // Hate relationship with all things Feminine. And by that, I mean I secretly wanted to participate in them while eschewing them as disgusting, patriarchal tools of oppression and vehemently attacking anyone who actually did. Embroidery was, unfortunately, one of those things I started off being "too good for" in a lot of ways.
It wasn't worth my time according to my RadFem indoctrination. It was weak, and subservient, and archaic; something docile that women did because society didn't allow them to do anything else... In fact, it didn't really matter what it was. If it was associated with the traditionally feminine in any way, I hated it- worse, I hated anyone who dealt with it.
Ahh, the sweet, cringe-worthy ignorance of childhood. It definitely wasn't one of my best moments, I'll admit. Thankfully I started breaking away from it. But it still took me forever to completely break away from that absurd ideology. And while I'd started exploring all of the traditionally Feminine things I'd previously hated while I did... I still hesitated learning embroidery, because I was afraid it would be too costly or too hard to learn.
Growing up in poverty really twists your sense of what "expensive" is. More than that, however, it gives you a warped idea of what will be expensive, and what won't be. And for some reason, Embroidery fell in that spot of "too costly" for me. Still, though, the desire was there. So over the course of six years I slowly squirreled away supplies whenever possible (miraculously without ever looking up the prices of anything I was getting).
All of that supply hoarding came to a head last year when my In-Laws called my Husband and I to help them move a bunch of stuff they'd purchased from an Auction; when we got there the auction was over and all the unsold items sat on a table with a big "free" sign next to it. Among that happened to be what was clearly an elderly lady's crafting collection- including a wood embroidery hoop. And as it turns out, that embroidery hoop happened to be the one item I'd never purchased- and the last one that I needed to finally start learning.
So I finally made the jump- after all, I no longer had an excuse not to anymore; nothing was holding me back from learning at that point, except maybe my own fear of failure. And what I found was that not only was it surprisingly simple to learn... But it was much cheaper than I could have ever imagined.
Almost instantly, I was hooked; my first project was a standard sampler of practice stitches- something that's arguably the first thing any newcomer completes. But my second? Oh, my second was much more ambitious: A self drafted Folk Art style piece where traditional Folk Flowers motifs were replaced with Native Oklahoma Wildflowers done in a similar style; I worked on it religiously during the entire week we attended the Walnut Valley Music Festival... And then the cleaning crew came, the Tea Room became storage again, I closed the room for the Winter... And I still haven't finished it. Oops.
Lately, though, I've had the itch to start embroidering again- helped, in no small part, by the massive stash of patterns that are available on Etsy; some of my favorites include the "Redwork Tulip" pattern by Beth Colletti, the "Botanical Fruit" by Lark Rising... Florals and Floss' "Floral Embroidery" pattern, and the "Scandi Birds" pattern by KF Needlework are also lovely- as well as Taleta Designs' "Monogram" pattern and the "Sleeping Fox Mandala" pattern by Little Dear. And then there's Lucy Blaire's "Scalloped Shell", Fileusedetoiles' "Rose", September House's "Wind and Water", MLM XOXO's "Pineapple", and Finch and Floss' "Flamingo"- all lovely patterns; and absolutely no one's surprised that I love Folk Art inspired pieces. Or Florals, for that matter.
Looking back at it now, though... I was pretty stupid. I let anti-feminine bias, self loathing, fear of failure, trauma, and major pessimism over cost prevent me from finding a hobby that has well and truly been beneficial to me... But that's the price of being Human, isn't it? Still, who we are today is not who we were yesterday, and that can be a good thing as long as you continue to use it to drive positive change. What I can say now, though, is this: Embroidery is badass- and there's at least six reasons you should make the jump and learn it yourself, regardless of what gender you consider yourself or how you found your way to this blog.
⚶ It's Surprisingly Cheap ⚶
Looking back on it now, it's really dumb that a large part of the reason I never gave it a proper chance was because I was afraid it was going to be an expensive hobby. Because as it turns out, it's actually pretty inexpensive!
Hoops tend to average $2 USD to $5 USD for the cheap wooden ones (although you can get the more expensive plastic ones that last longer), and you can pick them up nearly anywhere with at least a small craft section; I purchased an assorted hundred bits of floss for less than $30 from a random seller on Etsy; adding beads usually isn't that expensive either- though it's important to keep in mind that beading and Embroidery are two different art forms; needles are damned near on the dime, in large packs, and come in a variety of sizes for different needs and fabric types; fabric types themselves, depending on what you want to use (I prefer a nice medium weave sewing Muslin, myself), can be the most expensive bit, but you can buy cabbage and other scraps from companies who are looking to offload the stuff leftover when everyone's bought all the yardage, which greatly reduces the cost- though it does sometimes limit project size.
Of course, prices vary per country, quality, and other factors. But as far as the cost of some of my other hobbies go price wise? You really can't get much better than that- especially not when you factor in all it's other benefits.
⚶ Near-Instant Gratification ⚶
A sense of accomplishment and pride is likely the bane of every new hobbyist's existence. And by that, I mean the lack of it when starting off in a hobby for the first time can usually make or break the chances of a person sticking with it. Trust me, I know; I'm the queen of instant discouragement when I can't do something right on the first or second try. I get frustrated and give up way too easily.
With Embroidery, though, it took me all of twenty minutes to complete my first sampler of the most bare and basic stitches I needed to learn. And you know what? It was so goddamned satisfying! I mean, sure, I rushed through it and my stitches weren't great. If I had to recommend anything to beginners, I'd say to take your time, and spend at least 30 minutes to an hour on each stitch on your first sampler... It takes time to learn all the stitches- and there are so many. And yes, some of those stitches require absolutely insane coordination and skill to pull off.
But I've literally never found an easier skill to learn in my life, let alone one that gave me such gratification right out the door. It's just so satisfying to pick up a skill and to not only actually complete your first solid project within a single day- but to also have it not look like absolute hell.
⚶ It's Incredibly Motivating ⚶
If you're like me? That's a pretty damned big deal- which brings me into my next point: Your first stitches aren't even remotely going to be pretty the first few go arounds with it. But the basic stitches are so easy that you can pull them off in the first day's practice and it won't look like a toddler did it. And so even doing a few successful stitches, it gives you a near instant sense of accomplishment... It makes you feel good about yourself. And that's motivating as hell. Better yet, the motivation you get from it translates well into other areas of your day; I never feel as capable of tackling my to-do list as I do after just 20 minutes of Embroidery work.
⚶ Fine Motor Improvement ⚶
As it turns out, while you don't quite need fine motor skills to embroider a lot of things depending on the style of embroidery you choose? The coordination needed to embroider things at all can still significantly increase your overall fine motor skills, hand-eye coordination, and manual dexterity in much the same way that Ballet can increase your overall balance. And you don't even have to touch any of the advanced stitches at all if you don't want to, in order to reap these benefits, either; even if you only ever stuck to the simplest stitches, embroidery still improves coordination over time. This is amazing news for someone like me, with Sensory Processing Disorder and other conditions which affect her fine motor skills- and I've already seen major improvement myself in just a short time.
Oddly enough, embroidery isn't just practical whenever you're doing it on a hoop. Some of the stitches I've learned have also come in handy when patching my Husband's jeans, or repairing a blanket. They're also stitches you can use for mending other more solid things like tents. And they can make great ways to visibly mend garments you don't want to throw away yet, but which can't be invisibly mended- such as a moth riddled sweater. Processes like Darning and Knit Darning can also be much easily learned through embroidery in some ways as well, as some of the same methods are used in certain advanced stitches- and one of the basic stitches (the Blanket Stitch) is even a common stitch used in sewing to finish blanket edges... So not only can you create wonderful works of art with Embroidery, you can also do more practical things with it, and the skill is cross transferable to other areas. So it's a handy skill by far (ha!).
⚶ And It's Relaxing ⚶
I've tried a lot of craft based hobbies over the years- from knitting, to crochet, weaving, and more. And between dropped stitches, missed counts, unravels, and all the other associated problems (and breakdowns), I've found them all hair-pullingly frustrating; none of them have done as much for my mental health as embroidery has since I started learning in roughly September of last year. And in that short time, it's helped my mental health immensely.
There's something to be said about the state of mind that it puts you in while you work; that sort of mindless, meditative focus where everything seems to bleed away and the only thing that matters is the hoop in your hands... There's no stress, and no chaos, and if something goes wrong, the whole project isn't ruined; it's a great, stress free way to relax.
If you haven't tried it yet, you definitely should.